.

They didn't answer back.

How could they?

They were too busy chewing traffic cones and howling at the moon.

Wow.

I've
in the past but it's now very clear I'm the only balanced person in the capital.

If the contents of my inbox are anything to go by, the streets of London cannot be safe.

Everyone's on pills and just one Kestrel Super from eternity.

That or a 10-stretch.

The perfect cover letter

In total, around 50 people did find the time to stop licking their own extremities and apply for the role.

And in doing so they restored my faith in humanity.

Below are thetwo best cover letters we received for the position of Senior Account Manager.

I've met both of the applicants and theyare exactly the kind of people I want to work with, despite the fact that neither of them are in any way suited to the role.

But to hell with it, they're going to get a job. One will be starting the week after next, in fact.

It will probably go wrong but then, who cares?

So, sit back, help yourself to a pint of Teacher's, and enjoy.

Applicant A: "Eyes like piss-holes in the snow"

Applicant B: "Washed up hack seeks new rinse"

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