I'm 41 now. The best years of life are behind me.

I'm growing tits and, if the Nuffield results I got the other day are correct, shrinking.

Hair and physical definition are disappearing fast.

The only thing I've got more of is personalities.

My idea of relaxing has changed, too: these days I'm happy just to drink alone.

But for all this I'm feeling more together than I ever have, in both my personal and business lives.

Why? Because if I think you're a c**t, I'll almost certainly call you one.

Zero tolerance

I think the business world should embrace this level of intolerance.

We'd all be so much happier in our working lives if we expressed ourselves openly.

If you're in an initial meeting and immediately take a dislike to someone, say it to their face.See how they react.

It will be one of those wonderfully awkward situations that life is all about.

People have no idea what to do in the face of extreme honesty, and it's priceless to watch.

What a twat

A few weeks ago, the CEO of some company or other emailed me asking if we'd like to pitch for their business.

It was a mass email beginning with 'To whom it may concern'.

Now I expect a French undergraduate to start their email like that, not a British 'CEO'.

Who the hell does this joker think he is?

I started my reply with:

My colleagues told me off. Whatever. I mean, come on, the guy is clearly a nob jockey.

Anyway, this isn't going much further. All I really wanted to say is that the business world needs more honesty.

The idiots that we have to put up with each day need to be told.