PR Clinic: public relations Agony Uncle, Dominic Hiatt, gives Crisis Management advice to UK businesses

A hundred grand is a lot of money, even for the CEO of a major blue chip. But to be honest, you've only got yourself to blame. I mean, surely you sawthis one coming?

Ikea shelves, lingerie, drills, divorced sisters, a six-figure ransom, you couldn't make it up. In fact, it's evens your missus is in on it.

So what are your options?

Well if you do decide to cough up and pray the sister sticks to her word, then at least run it through the company as an expense.

Big companies like yours have all kinds of costs going out left, right and centre, and who's going to question something the CEO sticks through the books?

One option is to set up a basicwebsite for a pretend charity and donate £100k to it, which will simply go straight back into your own bank account, from which you can CHAPS the cash straight to this wannabe Glenn Close.

No-one will be any the wiser and you'll come out looking like a saint for making such a huge donation to charity.

The other option, as you suggest, is to tell this woman to go to hell and see if she makes good on her threat.

If the Mail Online does contact you, be sure to gain the initiative immediately by saying that it's all true and that you are ashamed of your actions.




It also helps that the people in the City who matter are almost certainly dirty bastards themselves so whatever the hell you were doing with those cooking apples will probably drive up your company's share price.

And if it gets really messy, who cares anyway? It's a cast-iron certainty you'll be given a great big pay-off and a gold-plated, index-linked pension, so bollocks to it all. You’re onto a winner however it pans out.