Dear Sarah,

For 5000 years, we animals have hidden the Great Secret from the world of humans.And journalists, too.

However,
, this evening in the copy of the Evening Standard on the utility room floor wasas big a bag of shite as was ever written.

How, I thought, can you humans possibly consider yourselves superior to cats and dogs and stuff when you publish mindless drivel like this?

Soon behalf of the entire animal kingdom, I felt I had to act. Even though it meant our secret would be out.

Paw to paper

With the help of Daisy, the Jack Russell,I managed to boot up my owner's laptop and put 'paw' to paper, so to speak.

And here we are.

(Daisy couldn't jump up onto the table because she's a bit arthritic so joined in from the kitchen floor, as you will see in the vine at the bottom of this post.)

Hot water

Now this latest article by James contained all the mind-numbing platitudes that we in the animal kingdom have come to expect from the Caan PR team.

But to suggest that a high net worth IFA, indeed any IFA, should "cold call" prospects constitutes particularly poor advice.

Not only might such an approach land Rizwan inhot water with the regulator, it could also potentially damage his brand.

Two voles

That's, of course, if Rizwan exists anyway.

I bet you two voles and a tree rat's fart he's made up. I mean, why would an IFA with over 200 clients seek advice from one-time Dragon, Caan?

So on behalf of the animal kingdom, may I suggest that you ditch James with immediate effect and get some real business experts writing for your paper?

I'd suggest my owner but then he is a fruitcake and, like the hero of Le Horla, a metempsychotic.

With best regards,

Schnuggles the Cat (and Daisy).




https://vine.co/v/hQwuTPTh2M0/embed