London PR agency boss: "f**k pitching"

London PR agency boss, Dominic Hiatt, today revealed his firm will no longer pitch for new business.

In a media statement full of typos and expletives, Hiatt said: "I've had it. If someone wants to work with me, they can do the f*****g pitching. I'm top drawer, me."

Increasingly bitter

Hiatt, who had clearly been drinking before issuing the statement, said the move had been brewing for a while.

"I hit 40 a year or two back and it changed me. I'm getting more bitter by the day. I certainly can't be f****d to tell half a dozen strangers why I'm the man to take their company forward. Because nine times out of 10, I won't be."

Window dressing

In a more philosophical moment, Hiatt said the business world is changing, and that he is merely changing with it:

"I mean, what the f**k's the point of pitching anyway? It takes 10 seconds for someone to go online and decide if they want to work with me. My online CV says I like bourbon and cigars, veer to the right and want the planet to explode. The rest is window dressing."

No more lies

The PR legend wrapped up with more half-baked theories and another litany of expletives:

"Seriously, there's no hiding any more, no pretence, no lies. We are what we are, and what we are is in full public view. Social media has ripped the head off the business world and skullf****d it."