My networking day starts at around 6-6:30am when Iroll over, break wind and place a perfunctory kiss on the wife's lips.

As if.She's usually in bed with one of the kids because when I've been drinking, which is most nights, I apparently snore "like a bastard".



Next up it's the kids. I often cuddle my kids in the morning and say "Morning". They say "Morning" back. Generally I will kiss them.

These basic human interactions are all good networking practice and are getting me warmed up for the day ahead.

Tickets please!

My networking day starts in earnest when I get to the train station and buy a ticket.

I look John in the eye, enter into a bit of small talk as I'm tapping in my pin number, and wish him a good day.

When he replies 'You, too", I feel like I'm really out of the blocks. Already I'm getting some kind of ROI from my networking efforts.

My networking isn't put on hold during the journey in, either.

I always reach for my ticket when the conductor shouts "Tickets please" and sometimes have a bit of a banter with him, too.

For example, I may joke about the delays or reply that I have already shown him my ticket twice.

All limbered up

By the time I get to work I'm all limbered up.

Entering a formal business environment, I start by saying hello to the team and usually follow up with a lewd joke in a strange voice that I cannot explain here.

My networking activity continues to pick up during the day. For example, I may:

My networking day usually ends at about 1 in the morning when some Horsham cabby is slapping me round the face saying "You're home" and I reply, with a blank stare, "Barbarossa".