The next time some dumb-ass marketer asks me for a link I'm going to melt them.

"Can you get me a link?"

I'm going to drive straight through the wall of their office in my Q7, smash them round the head with a tent mallet and, using an industrial blow torch, turn them into a pool of boiling hot fatin front of their SEO-slob colleagues.

"Can you get me a link?"

And when they've cooled down, I'm going to mould a large penis out of the soap and grime or whatever the hell it is that's left of them, chuck them in the boot, reverse over their entire workforce and thenbury them in my neighbour's garden with a headstone reading: 'Here lies another cock'.

"Can you get me a link?"

I mean: are these idiots seriously not aware that if their business, or their clients' businesses, are relying on links for success then they've already failed? Do they really not get that?

"Can you get me a link?"

And anyway, why don't they get off their miserable arses and do something ever so slightly innovative or original to drive traffic to their(clients') sites?

"Can you get me a link?"

Or is it that they, or their clients, have nothing original or different to say?